Wednesday 25 May 2011

Day 2 of Optifast.......

Its not so bad :)  I actually like the chocolate one.. kind of lol   I put in extra water.. so its not so thick.. and today i tried it with banana extract and I really liked it!  Even adding a scoop of instant coffee and a bit of ice is good.. kind of like an ice cap from tims.....

The vanilla on the other hand.... its really sweet.. and hard for me to get down.  I added raspberry crystal light to it.. and it kind of tasted like a strawberry milkshake... but not really.  I thought adding ice might help... but it just made it harder to drink.  I think I will just have to live with gulping that kind.. but its only day 2.. and I will keep trying different flavors :) 

I don't feel hungry yet... we had a few half bags of chips in the house last night and my husband was kind enough to throw them out... I knew I wouldn't eat them.. but just knowing they were there was really bothering me.

So far so good though :)

Tuesday 24 May 2011

May 24/11 - Day one of Optifast

So last night I had to break up a 30 year old relationship .. with food.. 

As one person put it.. it was more of a divorce... and in the words of a wise woman...

"That food was an a**hole anyway, and you re better off without it" lol

This morning I tried my first optifast.  My daughter told me to try the chocolate.  The kids were super curious about it!  I did add an extra 100ml of cold water... I didn't want it very thick.... I let both kids try a sip and they liked it... said it tasted like chocolate milk lol  

I thought it tasted a bit like Slimfast.  I really am glad I have my blender.. and even picked up a extra one to keep at work.  Im looking forward to trying all the different flavors!





I was sitting with the kids while they were having breakfast and my daughter said they would have soup for dinner and I can have my broth... my son said he didn't want soup.. and my daughter said, "Ewan, we have to be supportive to Mom"  soo cute!  I told them thank you.. but they still have to eat lol

Although I don't think I'm going to love these next few weeks...
I definitely think I can get through it.. and I know why I'm doing it...

My daughter (who's only 10 by the way)
after I made a face taking my last sip...
asked me "Is it worth it?" 
And I asked her "what do you think?" 
She said yes.

And then she went on to remind me that I will be able to ride bikes and go on the trampoline with her when I'm skinny.

I will never make that face again.

Friday 20 May 2011

May 19/11

Today I had my P.A.T.T appointment.  I got there at about 11:30 (a half hour early)  The waiting room was really full but a really nice receptionist took me right away, and then sent me downstairs for x-rays.

I had to undress from the waist up and put on a gown.  Luckily the x-rays were done standing up and were not uncomfortable at all.  The technician only took two pictures so I was in and out in about 5 minutes.

I was sent back up to the P.A.T.T room where I only had to wait about 10 minutes for my next appointment.  They brought me in to have an ECG done (electrocardiogram)   Again I had to strip down to my bra (luckily I had a really nice lady this time)  She hooked up about 8 sticky things to me and ran a test that took no more than 30 seconds!  (those sticky things hurt coming off lol)

I was sent back to the P.A.T.T room to wait again.  It was SO busy that I had to stand for about 20 minutes until a chair opened up.  There were a few ladies sitting behind me at different stages of their journey... at one point they got on the subject of optifast.. and it definitely has me worried a bit!  They were all talking about how horrible it is, and how they gagged every time the had to drink it.  Hopefully they didn't try all the things that I intend to and it will be delicious lol

Anyway.. then I was called in for blood work.  Now.. I am a body piercer.  I have been for 5 years now.  Putting needles in people does not bother me and blood does not bother me.. but for some reason... watching someone take blood out of me... bothers me very much lol

Once again I was sent back to the waiting room... and waited... and waited.  They were sooo busy!  They say the process takes 1 - 2 hours but I myself was there for 3 1/2 and others that I have talked to had to wait even longer.. so if you are going.. make sure you set aside most of the day!  Thankfully I brought a good book and my cellphone to play on while I waited!!

Finally I was called into the nurses office.  She checked my height and weight, and them went on to check my blood pressure and heart rate.  She asked me every question under the sun (all the same questions that I have answered at least 5 times since the start of this process)  She did seem a bit preoccupied... lots of interruptions.. phone calls and people coming in to ask her questions.. but she apologized every time.  She then went over the ins and outs of the operation and about my stay at the hospital.  There are little exercises that I have to do every few hours...  She did keep asking me about my sleep study and Dr. Shirkin which I thought was weird since that was such a good appointment.  Anyway... back to the waiting room.

By this time I was so tired and mentally worn out that I almost fell asleep sitting up lol  I was finally called into the anesthesiologists office.  His name was Dr. Bernstien (which I thought was very funny.)  He was quick and to the point because he was running behind and even said on the phone that he was probably going to have to send people home without seeing them.  He wend over the actual procedure and what to expect when I wake up... because of the meds and the breathing tube... which I kind of already knew from when I had my tubes tied.  He also asked me about my sleep study.  When I told him my results he looked very confused.  he said that in Dr. Shirkins report it said that I do have moderate sleep apnea.   Now I was the one that was confused!

Right when I thought I was finally going to be able to go home, the nurse came in and said that I had to book a follow up with Dr. Shirkin before the surgery.  All of a sudden I thought my surgery was going to be cancelled or postponed.. but then she came back and told me I could just head over to his office when I was done.

So I said goodbye to Dr. Bernstein and went next door to check in.  Dr. Shirkins receptionist read over my file.  She said that yes, I did in fact have sleep apnea and that during my sleep study I stopped breathing 18 times!

I'm sorry .. but how do you miss something like that the first time around?  She said that the Dr. would set me up with a Cpap machine (which is not cheap)

When I went in to see him, he also read over my file and agreed that there was a mistake but because I was so close to surgery, and that it hasn't really affected my sleep that much  that they would just keep and eye on me after surgery.  He said that the surgery is 100% going to sure my sleep apnea anyway so threes no point in paying for the machine.  If I need one in the hospital, they will supply it.

So FINALLY I was allowed to go home!!!  It was a very long day, 2 hours to get there, 3 1/2 hours there, and 2 hours to get home.... but I know that everything they did was completely necessary and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

(I'm just glad its over lol)

So... that's it!  I'm going away to Niagara Falls for the long weekend with my husband and two good friends... I cant think of a better way to spend my last few days before I start optifast on Tuesday!!!!

The next time I go to H.R.R.H will be on June 1th at 8:30am to finally have my Gastric Bypass.. and finally start living my life!!!!!

Thursday 12 May 2011

Beautiful by Bethany Dillion

"Beautiful"

I was so unique

Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?

I'm dying for new life

[Chorus]

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me

Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

[Chorus]


You make me beautiful

You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

Saturday 7 May 2011

May 6/11

So today is my 30th Birthday!  I feel good.. even great!  Much better than my 29th let me tell you!  For some reason I was more scared to turn 29 than 30...  but I think I know why!

At 29 I didn't know yet that a year from then I was going to be on this amazing journey.  At 29 I had pretty much lost hope, and hated who I had allowed my self to become.  I thought, "I'm almost Thirty... and look at me!!!  This is not how I want to spend the rest of my life... a life that we only get one chance at.  I don't want to be a fat girl forever"

But now here I am, one year later, with a whole new outlook on life.  In two weeks I start my optifast, and in 5 weeks I have my surgery.  The best 30th birthday present I ever could have asked for!

So bring on my 30's!  I think this is going to be one of the hardest, but most gratifying years of my life!  And I most definitely can not wait to celebrate my 31st birthday, a few pounds lighter, and a few clothing sizes smaller!

                                THIRTY, FLIRTY & THRIVING!!!!