Jan 28/12 - New Do!!!

I got my hair cut today!  When I was younger I loved having short hair. I always felt like there was so many ways to style it. Then when I started gaining weight I started to grow my hair out. It made me feel more comfortable and safe to have long hair to hide behind and camouflage my du-lap!!!

Since having my Gastric Bypass I've noticed that every time I would go for a haircut it would get shorter and shorter... And then today I went all out and just chopped it all off!

I didn't know if I liked it at first... Its soo different but I do. I love it!  It's hard to explain... I know it's just hair but if felt so liberating. I have no reason to hide anymore!  I can't wait to show it off at work tomorrow!

 P.S.  I am the queen of before and after pictures.. I love to compare.. most of the time its the only way I can see a difference!!

Jan 26/12 - Feelind better

Its been 3 days now since my gallbladder surgery and I can honestly say it was much worse than I expected!  I guess I was thinking it was going to be so easy compared to my Gastric Bypass... And it was but because I came home the first day and had different pain meds... It just seems like it hurts so much more. 

I was able to move around better today and I was able to shower myself ( which felt really nice!) but it wore me out pretty bad! My fear has been realized.. super constipated.. even after taking multiple shots of MOM and many ExLax... it really does suck!!!

The kids have been really great!  They are such good helpers. Kayla made dinner tonight (pork chops, veggies and pasta) and Ewans been a big help with Pedro and helping with the dishes. 

As for me, I'm finding it hard to eat. Pretty much everything makes me nauseous ... So I've stuck with protein shakes and soups for the most part. 

Its really hard for me to be at home for this long without going stir crazy!  Thankfully I have an extreamly thoughtful husband who went out and bought me some paint by numbers.. they have been a life savor!  Wasted many hours.. here is one I just finished :)

Jan 24/12 - A very long night!

I probably only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. Partly because I slept so much yesterday... And partly because I was just so uncomfortable! The gas pains are just wicked and when I finally get them under control my incision pains kick in... It's a vicious circle I tel you!  

My husband has been absolutely amazing though. He spent the night sleeping on the living room floor so he could be next to me if I needed anything. I spent the night in my recliner because it was just way to painful to lay flat. I have spent many a night sleeping in my recliner though so I'm pretty used to it!

I'm trying to use my pain meds sparingly ... Not because I want too but because I'm afraid of becoming crazy constipated! It's the worst feeling in the world. The hospital did send me home with some Milk of Magnesia (just in case) Also I knew there was something wrong with my IV.. it hurt so much yesterday.. and I woke up with my hand like this :

I'm still pretty loopy and drift in and out a lot. I'm just trying to update on my phone when I can or I'm afraid I'm going to forget how I felt when all is said and done!  

My kids come home today from their Grandma's. She was kind enough to take them for the night. I'm hoping the cooperate with me until I'm feeling back to normal !!!!  

We will see.. One day at a time!

Jan 23/12 - A little less of me

Today was a Very long day. I've never been so glad to be home!  (I'm a little loopy so forgive me if I repeat myself or don't make sense!)

We left this morning at 7am (after a not so good sleep... Even though I knew I would be fine I was pretty anxious) We made it to the hospital in just over an hour which was great considering there was traffic and an accident!

When we got there they had me fill out paperwork and wait. Then they had me change into my very sexy gown and hairnet and slippers. 

Which by the way fit sooo much better than the one I had to wear 7 months ago that didn't even do up!  Then we had to wait some more. I was called in to have my IV put in (hurt like hell this time) 

back to the waiting room to wait some more... I didn't end up going to the operating room till almost noon so it was a long anxious wait!

There is nothing more scary to me than lying in an operating room waiting to be put to sleep. I've had to do it 3 times and I really hope not again for a long time!  When they finally gave me the goods... I was out like a light within seconds!

Bye Bye Gallbladder!!!

It's the weirdest feeling waking up from the surgery. Being in a different place... Feeling like you just closed your eyes... And being in the most excruciating pain of my life. It was a very similar experience to when I had my Bypass.  It hurt so much under my ribs, in my back and in my right shoulder. I know it was just gas from them expanding my insides but it's a horrible feeling!  They gave me 3 injections of morphine and a few hits of gravol before it became tolerable.

After about an hour they sent me upstairs to the recovery room. I was sooo sleepy!  I've never wanted to sleep so much in my life!  

I was really surprised that they had to make 4 incisions... I was only expecting 2. I wish they could've used some of my existing scars but they didn't so now I have 11 scars on my belly... Connect the dots anyone?

The nurses were all very nice and I always appreciate what they do for me BUT there is a time and a place to check out and ask about my tattoos and that was NOT it. 

I had 4 different nurses pull at my nightgown, lift my blankets, move my arms and twist my legs just to get a better look at my tattoos and I was too sore to even try to stop them. I know people are curious about my tattoos and I don't usually mind... It's to be expected when you have a lot but REALLY?  I was on the verge of tears I was so frustrated. I wanted to get out of there ASAP!  I was in quite a bit of pain... More so discomfort but I was surprised at how I felt compared to the last time!  (the crazy amounts of drugs they pumped into me may have had a bit to do with it!) but being able to get up, go to the bathroom and get dressed without dying from pain was pretty awesome !!!

It was a pretty hard ride home but my mom was awesome to try to make it as comfortable as possible!  I can't thank my mom enough for being there for me today... It means sooo much to me that she made the long trip down just for the day and have to turn around and head right home after...  She's amazing and I'm so grateful to have her in my life. 

So now I'm home, and I have my wonderful husband waiting on me hand and foot...  I'm a super lucky girl to have him!  I'm hurting pretty bad right now but I know it could be worse and I'm sure I'll be feeling as good as new in a few days.  I'm glad it's over and I guess I can just chalk it up to another adventure on my WLS journey!

Jan 21/12 - I forgot to mention...

I forgot to mention yesterday that while I was at Dr. Hagen's office yesterday he weighed me. I weigh 220 pounds. Which means I have lost 114 pounds so far, which means I only have 40 more pounds till I reach Dr. Hagen's goal, which means I only have 21 more pounds to lose till I reach Onederland !!!  Yay !!

I took my daughter to Curves with me tonight because they do Zumba there every week and I really thought she would like it. It's hard but such a good work out and soo much fun. I'm finding that it's getting easier every time I do it too which is a bonus!  Kayla loved it and she was soo good at it. She has natural rhythm... Something she did not inherit from me!  I couldn't help smile though while I was watching her. She's growing up so fast!

It actually makes me sad that I'm going to miss Zumba next week and a few weeks of Curves... It's become such a part of my routine. I think I'm scared if I miss too many classes that I'll stop going and I REALLY don't want that to happen. 

Anyway, I went for my PATTS today and it went SO much better and faster than I could've expected!  We ended up getting there an hour early (thanks to the lovely Nikki for driving me there and back!!!) And hardly had to wait long at all!  They called me in to see the nurse after 15 minutes of waiting and she went over all the same things the went over when I had my Bypass. It went a lot fast since they already had all of my information.   She just went over what to expect the day of surgery... I had a strong feeling of deja vu ...  Same info... Different surgery!  The nurse didn't even get a chance to send me back to the waiting room because the blood work guy grabbed me from her office. They took 4 viles of blood from me and sent me right for an EKG.  Everyone who I talked to had something to ask about my tattoos :)

They then sent me downstairs for an X-ray ... Not really sure what could've changed inside me since Monday but I went with it.  I had to wait maybe 10 minutes and then I was done!  We were back home by 4 pm. One of the best hospital experiences I've ever had. I really hate waiting so it was nice to be in and out for once!

So I'm all prepped and ready to be back at the hospital first thing Monday morning :)

Jan 20/12 - P.A.T.Ts Appt

I forgot to mention yesterday that while I was at Dr. Hagen's office yesterday he weighed me. I weigh 220 pounds. Which means I have lost 114 pounds so far, which means I only have 40 more pounds till I reach Dr. Hagen's goal, which means I only have 21 more pounds to lose till I reach Onederland !!!  Yay !!

I took my daughter to Curves with me tonight because they do Zumba there every week and I really thought she would like it. It's hard but such a good work out and soo much fun. I'm finding that it's getting easier every time I do it too which is a bonus!  Kayla loved it and she was soo good at it. She has natural rhythm... Something she did not inherit from me!  I couldn't help smile though while I was watching her. She's growing up so fast!

It actually makes me sad that I'm going to miss Zumba next week and a few weeks of Curves... It's become such a part of my routine. I think I'm scared if I miss too many classes that I'll stop going and I REALLY don't want that to happen. 

Anyway, I went for my PATTS today and it went SO much better and faster than I could've expected!  We ended up getting there an hour early (thanks to the lovely Nikki for driving me there and back!!!) And hardly had to wait long at all!  They called me in to see the nurse after 15 minutes of waiting and she went over all the same things the went over when I had my Bypass. It went a lot fast since they already had all of my information.   She just went over what to expect the day of surgery... I had a strong feeling of deja vu ...  Same info... Different surgery!  The nurse didn't even get a chance to send me back to the waiting room because the blood work guy grabbed me from her office. They took 4 viles of blood from me and sent me right for an EKG.  Everyone who I talked to had something to ask about my tattoos :)

They then sent me downstairs for an X-ray ... Not really sure what could've changed inside me since Monday but I went with it.  I had to wait maybe 10 minutes and then I was done!  We were back home by 4 pm. One of the best hospital experiences I've ever had. I really hate waiting so it was nice to be in and out for once!

So I'm all prepped and ready to be back at the hospital first thing Monday morning :)

Jan 19/12 - Gallbladder be gone!

Well it looks like my gallbladder issue is a bit worse than I thought!  I went to see my Surgeon today. (Dr. Hagen) and he pretty much said it has to come out. Otherwise he was happy to see me and very happy with my progress!  He scheduled me to have it removed Friday Feb 3rd. Which is in two weeks. 

I was actually in a bit of shock... I didn't think it was going to have to come out at all.  I just thought i would have to eat differently or something but he said it was just going to get worse and that if i had another attack before the 3rd to come straight to the hospital and he would do an emergency surgery.  

Just as I was wrapping my head around that and trying to figure out work and kids... They called me back and moved it to this Monday! Oh boy!  

So now I have to get back to Toronto tomorrow to do my PATTS. Which if my memory serves me from past experiences could take a few hours! I don't know why I feel nervous... I know it's going to be a walk in the park compared to the Gastic Bypass but I still hate being put under!  I think it's just the fact that it's all happened so fast! I can't wait not to have to deal with these pains anymore!  Especially now that I know what they are. I thought it was from my eating or exercising and I was actually getting frustrated because I would get pain from eating something that I had eaten before and not had a problem with. Now I get it lol. Again I was aware that this could be an issue before I had Gastric Bypass but you never know how bad it can be until you are put in the situation!  Thankfully I will be able to have my husband and my mom with me on Monday and I'm ready to get this out :)

Jan17/12 - Relationships after Weight Loss Surgery

A fellow WLS patient just uploaded a video about her experiences with relationships post weight loss. I thought it was a great topic and thought I would share my own views since they were quite different from hers. Which is not surprising since I know that everyone has different experiences!  

First... Friendships.

Most of my friends have been nothing but supportive and nice (although I'm sure they may get sick of me talking about it and who knows what they say when I'm not around lol)  I do try not to talk about it too much with certain people because i don't want them to feel uncomfortable but it is hard when its such a huge part of my life and im so excited about it!  

I know for myself that some of my friendships have dwindled over the past few months. I do understand that friendships can change after WLS especially if those friendships revolve around food. 

I have seen that there can be some jealousy when someone loses a lot of weight.. Others can feel left behind.  I know this because i have been on both sides of it.  I feel that if you do lose friends through this process, maybe some of those friendships would've ended anyway.  Not just because of weight loss.  

And then there are the people who I hardly ever used to talk to who are super friendly to me now... Part of me want to ask them why they all of a sudden have such an interest in me when a year ago they wouldn't have even given me the time of day. Then there are the friends who say things.. Intentionally or not... That hurt.  Asking why I just didn't go to the gym more or eat less. Why I was taking the easy way out when there are others that they know who lost 100 pounds on Jenny Craig etc. Those people don't understand that obesity is a disease. I'm not just lazy and I didn't just eat junk food all day everyday. Yes I made poor choices but there was so much more to it.  And if you think the having Gastric Bypass is the easy way out, you are VERY mistaken!

Last but not least there are the friends that I have made BECAUSE of WLS.  Some that I have had the privilege to meet in person and some that I only know online but I consider them part of my family. 

I am so lucky to have such a wonderful support system. I cherish each and everyone of my friends!

As for family... For the most part my family has been very supportive. I know when my sister lost all of her weight I was VERY jealous of her. I thought she was changing and leaving me behind  we didn't have things in common anymore and i resented her.  It wasn't until  I myself was losing the weight that i finally understood what she went through.  I have had weight issues with some family members my whole life and I know that there are some that didn't believe that I could do it or thought I would fail or think that i will regain it all back.  I am only 7 months out but I intend to prove them wrong.  Family is family no matter what and I believe I have become a lot closer with mine through this.

Now when it comes to sexual relationships, My husband and I were together for almost 3 years before I had surgery. We got married when my weight was at my highest. I know he loves me no matter what I look like. I also know that he loves the fact that I have more "stamina" now lol  Even though I am still very self conscience about my skin and I think he is too. I feel almost more self conscience now then when i was bigger.  At least then I filled out my skin and had big breasts.  Now that I am getting smaller I have sooo much skin. It's gross. I hide it with spanx and padded bras but when it's just my husband and I at home... It's not that easy. I constantly feel that I am unattractive. It's a hard transition full of emotions and stress. And I know how hard its been for him too.. Watching me get sick and going to the doctors with me.  Feeling guilty for eating things in front of me when he shouldn't because he didn't choose this, I did. I have seen and heard of many relationships ending after WLS.   I believe that if you didn't have a strong relationship before.. Having surgery will not fix it.  I am VERY thankful to have such a supportive husband! 

Only keep those in your life that want to be there. The rest aren't worth your time!

Jan 16/12 - A very painful night!!!

My husband and I went out for dinner last night because we received some gift cards for Christmas.  We don't hardly ever go out (not really much point for me to eat anywhere lol) but it was a nice idea and we went.  My husband ordered an appetizer and I had some.. even though I should have known better.  I had some potato skins and two chips with spinach dip on them. 

Well that was the start to a very long night.  I started to get a tightness feeling in my stomach so I figured I was just full or going to be sick.  My heart started to race and my face got very hot.  All things that have happened in the past which I associated with dumping.  I didn't even touch my dinner and by the time my husband was done eating I was in a lot of pain.  We went to Chapters to walk around, thinking that would help but it didn't and by the time we got home the pain was pretty intense.  After it had been about 3 hours we decided to go to the hospital.

I was nervous to go though, still thinking it was just because of what I ate and I didn't want to get embarrassed when they told me it was nothing... but on the other hand I know many people who have had the same symptoms and it ended up being their gallbladder.. or worse.. and after having Gastric Bypass... I wasn't going to take any chances!

We ended up having to wait for hours of course before it was all said and done... they did blood work and took 4 xrays.. both came back fine.  They gave me a shot of morphine and a shot of gravol (both in my behind!) and when it finally kicked in I felt much better.. but up until that point I was in the worst pain I have ever experienced... other than childbirth.  I could not get comfortable no matter how hard I tried and my whole right side.. stomach, and back was just in sooo much pain!

My husband came back with me to the hospital this morning and I had an ultrasound done.  Again we had to wait for hours... I really hate hospitals!  We finally got the results back and I do have gallstones.  The doctor said they were uncomplicated.. which means they were not inflaming my gallbladder.. but I just had an episode probably brought on by my poor food choices.  Sigh.

So they have me on a liquid diet today.. and then back to soft purees tomorrow.  I go to see my surgeon Dr. Hagen on Thursday.. I'm not sure what is going to happen but part of me hopes they decide to take it out.. its so hard to know if my pains are from that or from the bypass.  I did know going into this that gallstones were a possibility because of the rapid weight loss... but I never thought it would be this painful!!!!

Lesson learned though.. that's for sure!  And can I just add that my husband is my rock and Im so glad I had him with me the whole time!!!

Jan 7/12 - Size 16

Last night I bought two pairs of jeans. A size 18 because I only have two pairs, and a pair of size 16 because they were only 12 dollars and I knew I'd need them eventually.   This morning I tried on the pair of size 16 jeans just for fun and the fit perfectly. I was so shocked that I sat down in my bed and cried  I have gone from a size 28 to a size 16 in 7 months. It's so crazy. Is it weird that the attention freaks me out a bit? Don't get me wrong...  I like it and I appreciate the kind words but sometimes it's just awkward lol. I have also moved away from plus size underwear!  How nice it is not to have to be pulling them up non stop!  I love my RNY.   

Jan 5/12 - A trying month!

December was a really trying month for me.  My whole family ended up getting that horrible flu that was going around.  My daughter had pneumonia, my husband ended up with a chest infection and I had the stomach flu and a wicked cough.  I got to the point where I couldn't eat because I was throwing up so much, and then when I got to the point that I could eat, nothing would stay down because I had gone so long without food. 


The doctor ended up putting me back on liquids for about a week, and that is what ended up pushing me over my 100 pound loss.  So it wasn't necessarily a bad thing!


Unfortunately, not being able to go to the gym for almost two weeks was.  I tried a few times to go back early but I would get half way through my work out and have a coughing fit!  Then they were closed way to much over Christmas and New Years in my opinion.


I really tried to stay away from Christmas goodies, but I may have had a nibble here and there... and I may have paid for it... here and there.  Was it worth it... No.  But it was Christmas!  And boy am I ever glad it is over!


Now I'm so happy to be back into my routine, back to the gym 5 days a week, back taking my vitamins everyday (thankfully I switched to vitamins that I can swallow because the chewable ones were just awful and I admittedly skipped more than I took lately.)

That is what I take in a week... A lot less then when I was having to take the chewables!!!!!


Ive only lost about 8 pounds in the last month... my weight loss had slowed.. as I knew it would.. but I really think I would have lost more if I had been able to be consistent at the gym and if it wasn't for those darn Christmas goodies!


My new years resolution was to have more self discipline. I'm trying so hard.. but its not always so easy... my gastric bypass is just a tool... I still have to use it right!


Here I am today... a third of who I was 7 months ago!!!!

 

Dec 4/11 - 100 pounds gone!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I am officially down 100 pounds as of today!  What a crazy 5 1/2 months this has been!!!  This is a great milestone and one Im so glad I reached! Everyone is starting to take notice and ask me about it.. and as much as it is awkward to talk about it... Id be lying if I said I didn't love it!  Ive worked really hard to get here.. and its so nice to be complimented for it!  I love my clavicles and elbows.. I love smaller clothes.. I love crossing my legs.. I love having so much more energy.. I love that I love the gym!  I do not take this for granted, and I am thankful every day for this gift!