Aug 27 - The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.

First.. the good!

I am down 60 pounds in just under 3 months.  I have been waiting to say this but I have finally lost the equivalent to an elephants penis LOL      I am down 3 pant sizes.  I had to get rid of all of my jeans... even my favorite pair because they just wouldn't stay on anymore!  I can cross my legs again... almost comfortably lol... but I can do it none the less...

The bad....

My hair is falling out like CRAZY!!!!!   Every morning I dread having my shower for fear of my hair coming out in handfuls.  I knew it was coming.. Ive read lots about it and I know it doesn't last forever and that it will grow back.. but it still freaks me out and I'm scared that I'm going to go bald... I may just have to start investing in wigs or bandannas!!!!

Also ... I tried an alcoholic drink.  I had a shot of vodka mixed with a glass of water and crystal light.  Only 56 calories.. no fat, no sugar, no carbs... but man did it ever hit me!  I felt fine after the first one... and I thought I could handle one more.. but I didn't even get half way through it before feeling completely drunk and passing out!!!   So I am definitely a very cheap drunk!  Not something I plan on repeating either.. I hate that feeling!

The ugly.

I haven't been feeling very good.  I will have one good day, where I can eat no problem... but then Ill have 2 or 3 days where its uncomfortable to even drink.  My pouch feels tight (normal I'm sure) and no matter how slow I eat and how much I chew it feels like it gets stuck and I can never finish.  It is really uncomfortable.  I hope it passes.. I hope its just part of the process.. because if not I'm going to be a really cranky Amy!!!!

Aug 12 - Bad Night....

So I promised myself that when I decided to write this blog I would be honest.. and share not just the good but the bad.

Well last night, I had a bad moment.  Yesterday was my sons 9th birthday.  We have a tradition that the birthday person gets to decide what they want for dinner...  I have been sooo good at keeping bad foods out of the house, and eating really healthy at home at at work... but it was his birthday and he wanted Chinese food.

At first I was just going to send my husband and the kids out to eat.. but we decided that it would be cheaper just to order in.  Long story short... I convinced myself that I have been so good and able to keep my foods down pretty well so I should be able to have a bit of Chinese food for his birthday dinner.... boy was I wrong!   After about 10 minutes my chest started to hurt and my mouth started to fill with saliva... and then out of no where.. every piece of Chinese food I ate... came right back up.

I felt soo stupid, especially because my husband already warned me and told me it probably wasn't a good idea to try it.  I had a bit of a melt down after.  I'm seeing these amazing changes in how I feel and look and I went to such great measures to make sure I wouldn't eat crap like that anymore... and what do I do?  I was so mad at myself.. but in one way I think I was crying over the fact that I cant eat it... I know its crap but I really used to like Chinese food.

I know most people wont understand this.. but its like taking an alcoholic and putting all sorts of drinks in front of them and telling them not to touch them while everyone around them drinks it in front of them.

And its not like I'm starving.. or even hungry.. its all in my head.  I think I want it.. but I know I don't.  I can keep food out of my house.. but I'm going to face these challenges along the way... I have to figure out a better way to deal with it.

The only good thing that came out of the experience is that my pouch is actually working thankfully and I cant eat the bad stuff.

Ive said it before... the good of this surgery will always outweigh the bad...but that was not fun.  I learned from it though.. and I'm ready to move on..

Today is a new day.

Aug 10 - My very first NSV x 2!!!!!

Yesterday at work a girl came in to book a tattoo appointment that I haven't seen in about 6 months.  She came up to me and says " It looks like you've lost some weight!  You look great!"

It was the first person who didn't know I had surgery to say something!!!!! It made me feel soo good!  I just wanted to shout, YES!!!!  I HAVE LOST WEIGHT!!!!  THANK YOU FOR NOTICING!!!!!!!  lol  but I just said thank you lol

After work I went to the mall with my best friend.  She likes to shop at Rickies... I personally could never shop there because they didn't have my size... but right before we were leaving I thought .. what the heck.. and tried on a pretty pink top., and not only did it fit but it was loose!  It was the biggest size in the store mind you.. but still 2 - 3 times smaller than what I'm used to wearing!!!!

They had a sale on that if you bought one sale item you got another one for a dollar.. so my friend Bre bought it for me as a reward lol

I told her that this was so awesome.. but could turn out to be dangerous.  Ive never really been the type to care about clothes or buy alot... but I could see this turning into a nice little hobby!!!!


(in case you were wondering, NSV is a term we use on our forum for Non Surgical Victory)

Aug 8 - 50 pounds gone forever!!!

So here I am... just about two months since surgery.. and I have finally lost 50 pounds!!  I am in desperate need of new pants... and the shirts that have been in my closet for the past year with tags on them.. that I couldn't button around my middle.. finally fit me.. and loosely!  Its so nice to see the changes.. its really good motivation!

I'm having a bit of issues with food now that didn't really bother me at first.. but Ive heard that your pouch gets a bit more sensitive after a few weeks.  Chicken is really had for me.. maybe because its to dry or dense... and breads.. although Ive only tried wraps.. but they do not sit well at all!  A lot of foods have made me feel sick.. but usually it doesn't do so until about 20 minutes after I finish eating.  That makes it hard to know what I can and cant handle... so Ive pretty much stuck with softer foods that I know I can stomach!!!  I guess I'm just sick of feeling sick...

I keep thinking I'm not loosing as fast as I should be... but according to Dr. Hagen I'm right on track.  When I saw him at one month out.. I had lost 35 pounds.  He expects me to lose another 30 to 40 in the next 3 months and I'm already down 15 more pounds since then.... so I guess I'm on my way lol  But you cant blame me for wanting it to go faster!!!!

Its crazy how many people have contacted me since my surgery to tell me they are thinking about it or have had it too.  I love being able to share my experiences with them, and I hope I am able to give them a bit of insight !!!   Don't get me wrong...  I have a lot of learning to do myself, but its nice to think I might be able to help someone out when I'm only two months post op!!!

Sorry for my ramblings... I'm just trying to work things out in my head!