So here I am, tomorrow I will be 3 months post surgery. I am down 65 pounds, but I have been sitting at that for about two weeks now... I think I have hit a bit of a stall... and I know it happens.. but its always frustrating.
I read every book, blog, pamphlet... watched every educational video I could find... I tried to mentally prepare myself for this life change.. and I was ready... everyone including the doctors and dietitians said I was too. But until you are actually going through this.. you have NO IDEA how hard it is.
Ive had a few people ask me if I regret having the surgery. I usually tell them to ask me in three more months... because right now I don't really know. I do love the weight loss, and the better mobility already.. but there are just SO many things that are happening to me right now that make me want to cry.
I know I have talked about this before but its such a big deal right now... I have always had really thick hair, except for at the front.. (a bit of a receding hairline!) I have always been able to hid it with my bangs, but this past month I have lost SO much hair that its really getting hard to hide it and its really freaking me out. Ive never really thought much about my appearance.. but I always loved my hair... and now its going away... It has made me cry on more than one occasion when I'm brushing or washing my hair and it is coming out in clumps.
My family and I were visiting my mom and dad on the long weekend, and I was fine for the most part.. there was always something I could eat... but when we would take the kids for ice cream, or stop at the chip truck... I miss being included... Not so much missing the food.. I just miss being part of it. And it makes me resentful.. and I know its not fair to my family because this was MY choice. I also missed sitting around the fire having drinks with my husband. I cant wait for winter to get here so I don't miss social drinking so much.
Vitamins. I knew going into this that I would have to take vitamins for life. What I didn't know was how gross they would be and how hard it was going to be to remember to take them all! Ive even set reminders on my phone so I don't forget .. but somehow I manage to miss at least two almost every day. And boy do I ever miss Advil... I'm sure there are ladies who can sympathize with me lol... Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and die!
Protein is another one of those things that keeps getting away from me. No matter how much I try to have.. its never enough. I bought some different types of protein bars, hoping to boost it a bit.
Ive been getting sick lately too. I know its my own fault... I cant seem to eat slow enough or chew well enough or take small enough bites. My family has always been fast eaters.. that's a 30 year habit that's hard to break. I really don't like throwing up at work though.. I get so embarrassed that I almost don't want to eat there... but that's what got me into this mess in the first place.
I'm sorry for being such a downer... its just been a hard few weeks. Everyone tells me things will get easier, and I'm sure they will.
And I don't want anyone to be discouraged by reading this.. especially if you are going through this journey too.. but I promised that I would be honest and I think its best to know the good and the bad.. its not all sunshine and rainbows over here!
That being said.. the past few days I have really been focusing on my vitamins, water and protein.. trying not to get distracted.. it really is a full time job! I go to HRRH on Friday for my 3 month check up... hopefully the dietician will have some words of wisdom for me!
One day at a time.
I read every book, blog, pamphlet... watched every educational video I could find... I tried to mentally prepare myself for this life change.. and I was ready... everyone including the doctors and dietitians said I was too. But until you are actually going through this.. you have NO IDEA how hard it is.
Ive had a few people ask me if I regret having the surgery. I usually tell them to ask me in three more months... because right now I don't really know. I do love the weight loss, and the better mobility already.. but there are just SO many things that are happening to me right now that make me want to cry.
I know I have talked about this before but its such a big deal right now... I have always had really thick hair, except for at the front.. (a bit of a receding hairline!) I have always been able to hid it with my bangs, but this past month I have lost SO much hair that its really getting hard to hide it and its really freaking me out. Ive never really thought much about my appearance.. but I always loved my hair... and now its going away... It has made me cry on more than one occasion when I'm brushing or washing my hair and it is coming out in clumps.
My family and I were visiting my mom and dad on the long weekend, and I was fine for the most part.. there was always something I could eat... but when we would take the kids for ice cream, or stop at the chip truck... I miss being included... Not so much missing the food.. I just miss being part of it. And it makes me resentful.. and I know its not fair to my family because this was MY choice. I also missed sitting around the fire having drinks with my husband. I cant wait for winter to get here so I don't miss social drinking so much.
Vitamins. I knew going into this that I would have to take vitamins for life. What I didn't know was how gross they would be and how hard it was going to be to remember to take them all! Ive even set reminders on my phone so I don't forget .. but somehow I manage to miss at least two almost every day. And boy do I ever miss Advil... I'm sure there are ladies who can sympathize with me lol... Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and die!
Protein is another one of those things that keeps getting away from me. No matter how much I try to have.. its never enough. I bought some different types of protein bars, hoping to boost it a bit.
Ive been getting sick lately too. I know its my own fault... I cant seem to eat slow enough or chew well enough or take small enough bites. My family has always been fast eaters.. that's a 30 year habit that's hard to break. I really don't like throwing up at work though.. I get so embarrassed that I almost don't want to eat there... but that's what got me into this mess in the first place.
I'm sorry for being such a downer... its just been a hard few weeks. Everyone tells me things will get easier, and I'm sure they will.
And I don't want anyone to be discouraged by reading this.. especially if you are going through this journey too.. but I promised that I would be honest and I think its best to know the good and the bad.. its not all sunshine and rainbows over here!
That being said.. the past few days I have really been focusing on my vitamins, water and protein.. trying not to get distracted.. it really is a full time job! I go to HRRH on Friday for my 3 month check up... hopefully the dietician will have some words of wisdom for me!
One day at a time.
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